Bridging relational distance

The greatest motivation in my life is to please Jesus and to share Him with others. It's hard to ignore the all-encompassing nature of my relationship with Him, especially with those I love most. Still, I recognize the importance of being respectful where people are in their personal spiritual journeys--and I believe everyone is traveling that path, however consciously or subconsciously that may be.

We are all undeniably religious about something. This definition defines the context in which I am thinking--”Religion is belief in a god or gods and the activities that are connected with this belief”.

Admittedly, many people consider themselves non-religious because they are not formally committed to God, a church, or a specific ideology of morality.

Or, they may prefer the designation of “spiritual”, as described in definition. “Spirituality involves the recognition of a feeling or sense or belief that there is something greater than myself, something more to being human than sensory experience, and that the greater whole of which we are part is cosmic or divine in nature”.

In either case I’m persuaded we are all on a “religious”or “spiritual path” in the context of these definitions. The Bible says “God has set eternity in the heart of man” and it is, accordingly, impossibly to escape this transcendent thinking process whether intentional or not. That focus will inevitably be reflected in how we choose to live our lives.

The disparity in how we respond (or not) to this internal motivator/marker can potentially impact our relationship with others, particularly on a level of intimacy and in the ways we communicate with each about the things that matter most to us. Filtering these through the lens of mutual respect can be challenging.

Can someone really know me without understanding the things that shape my worldview and motivational mindset? And can I really know them if I can’t access the same information about them?

It's frequently said that to be friends we have to be willing to avoid the subjects of religion and politics. I understand that and seek to honor that unless a door for dialogue is opened. I may even try to open that door myself but know when I receive the signal, “I don’t agree” or “I don't want to talk about that”. Boundaries, then, are consciously or subconsciously established.

And, whether intended or not, distance is established, lines are drawn and a certain level of intimacy is relinquished. This does not mean that we can’t care deeply for each other or even love each other. But we have effectively denied access to the areas of life which may matter most as it relates to the spiritual trajectory of our lives.

Why can’t we share these things without fear of reprisal or rejection? Is not understanding--in contrast to agreement--an appropriate component of our communication?

Can we not communicate about such meaningful things, even with disparate beliefs, in a respectful and kind way, and exit these conversations with our relationship still intact?

Would we not be benefitted by recognizing these differences and, then, determining to move forward in seeking greater understanding and exploring ways to make ourselves better known to one another? What are we afraid of what we might lose in approaching relationships that matter with this quest for intimacy?

It feels scary, doesn’t it? I intentionally remind myself that ignoring differences--the inability to communicate safely and respectfully about them--defines the potential closeness we may enjoy in a relationship we value.

Here’s to bridging the distance by seeking creative ways to share the things that matter most to us while listening to the same expressions from those we seek to know intimately.